Finding Love in a Person is as Real as Finding Value in The Bachelor
 |
| Bachelor Ben Higgins from Season 20 |
The search for love has never been so dramatic and intense as it is in The Bachelor. This reality TV show features one male bachelor who is in search for a future wife, and typically 25 women who are all fighting to claim him as their husband. In the first episode the bachelor has a specific amount of time to meet all of the women before the first rose ceremony (the contestant elimination process). The rose ceremony consists of the bachelor handing out roses to all of the girls that he wants to keep, and
the few that do not receive roses are sent home. These rose ceremonies take place throughout the duration of the show and are usually situated at the very end of each episode. However, the bulk of the show is made up of the dates. Some of these dates are one-on-one, and some of them are with a group. It is this time spent with the female contestants that the bachelor bases his rose ceremony decisions off of. At the end of the season it is anticipated that the bachelor will get down on one knee and propose to the last contestant, the woman that he has fallen for.
 |
| The Rose Ceremony |
 |
| Contestant Olivia Caridi From Season 20 |
but some would argue that this dramatic entertainment is the show's only redeeming quality. This of course is an ignorant presumption based only on the surface of what reality TV shows like The Bachelor have to offer.
Besides entertainment The Bachelor offers insight into what relationships (especially complicated ones) are like. The critique of this is that the participants in the show are put in an unnatural environment that isn't conducive for creating natural relationships. This then is said to showcase an inaccurate representation of what relationships are supposed to be like for people watching the show (Mitarca). To this critique one could raise the question, "what justifies a relationship as 'natural'?" In reality there are many different types of relationships with different scenarios as to how those partnerships resulted. The Bachelor does force participants into somewhat uncomfortable circumstances leading to that entertaining drama the producers like to capitalize on. However, once the viewer gets passed the glorified drama they can see the patterns of communication and compromise that function in relationships. These patterns are helpful to identify what can fuel the growth of a relationship or even to identify how to end a relationship healthily.
One may never have to learn how to please 25 potential mates at once, but watching the bachelor try to do this can make anybody appreciate that they will only have to deal with one person at a time. This scenario, however, accentuates the actions that fuel the growth of relationships. This is due to the fact that one can see similar phenomena play out with each potential partner in the show. Eventually there comes to a point in season where the bachelor starts to feel like he is falling in love some of the contestants. These can be hard waters to navigate because If he expresses what he thinks to be his true feelings, in the moment, they can come to backfire on him. For instance, in season 20 bachelor Ben Higgins told both JoJo and Lauren that he loved them. While these may have been his honest feelings he came to a conclusion that he loved Lauren more than JoJo in the end. This resulted in JoJo feeling more fooled and deceived than she would have otherwise felt.
“I’m so confused and blindsided. You told me you were in love with me, that I was your best friend, that you couldn’t imagine life without me. So, where did it go wrong?” (Pearl)
From these kind of instances the viewer can take away wisdom like, "One may want to consider the repercussions of honesty or the repercussions of not being honest." A totally different but relevant example that could apply to a viewer is a question that most are familiar with, "Do I look fat?" In this case being honest will cause initial harm if one tells them that they are fat. Now, not being honest may sound like the right answer, but if one's partner continues to get fat and at a certain point it is felt that this truth needs to be revealed, they may feel more betrayed in the end.
The most prominent uncomfortable and morally questionable circumstance on this show is the polygamous nature of dating 25 people at once. In mentioning such a circumstance there is an initial resistance to see any value in it because of one's personal and societal convictions concerning the rules of courtship. Yet, viewing people in this circumstance can deepen one's understanding of the intricacies of relationships. For instance, when former bachelor Ben Higgins came to a conclusion that he couldn't see a future together with one of the contestants he had to end their relationship. Many people have been in a similar situation and know how perplexing a plan of action can be. Some Bachelors botch this up and end up getting slapped in the face. It is from these instances one can learn how not to break up with a partner. Ben Higgins, considered by some as the best bachelor of all time, shows the audience how one can go about being gentle and reassuring during a break up.
"He broke up with her in such a caring and kind way that when it was all done, the only thing the dumped twin could say was, 'Whoever ends up with Ben is a very lucky girl.' How many people say that about the person who just broke up with them?" (Becker)
The Bachelor gives an audience the unique opportunity to see the same person potentially break up with 25 girls throughout the season. From this one can become aware of patterns in the process and the consequences, good or bad, that are linked to those patterns. The thing to do with this information would be to self reflect on one's own patterns and the consequences linked to them. Then it may be decided, through comparison, that Ben Higgins plan of action was better than one from the viewers experience. Thus, this show can be a great learning tool.
Even some scholars are starting to suggest that reality TV can provide deep insight and meaning rather than just the obvious "pleasure, diversion and amusement." For Mina and Krakowiak reality TV can be separated into two categories, "lifestyle transforming" and "competition based." Their hypothesis regarding this categorization is that the former has more value than the latter. Competition based reality TV shows are thought to hold most of their value in the "pleasure, diversion, and amusement." Yet, lifestyle transforming shows are said to produce "strong elevated feelings and moving, thought provoking perceptions". Mina and Krakowiak's most important point is, however, that viewing lifestyle transforming reality TV shows can be "positively associated with altruistic motivations." Interestingly enough, The Bachelor falls into both of these aforementioned categories so viewers can indulge in the pleasure of the competition while having a meaningful appreciation for the "lifestyle transforming" quest for love.
ABC's partnership with ESPN to launch the Bachelor Fantasy League reminds us that The Bachelor is a paradigm of competition based reality TV, but the viewer has the power to take much more form it than the mere pleasure of "staged actuality" (Deery). The real emotions, communication, compromise, and love exhibited are surely capable of inspiring altruistic motivation for the conscious and self reflective viewer.
Work CitedOne may never have to learn how to please 25 potential mates at once, but watching the bachelor try to do this can make anybody appreciate that they will only have to deal with one person at a time. This scenario, however, accentuates the actions that fuel the growth of relationships. This is due to the fact that one can see similar phenomena play out with each potential partner in the show. Eventually there comes to a point in season where the bachelor starts to feel like he is falling in love some of the contestants. These can be hard waters to navigate because If he expresses what he thinks to be his true feelings, in the moment, they can come to backfire on him. For instance, in season 20 bachelor Ben Higgins told both JoJo and Lauren that he loved them. While these may have been his honest feelings he came to a conclusion that he loved Lauren more than JoJo in the end. This resulted in JoJo feeling more fooled and deceived than she would have otherwise felt.
“I’m so confused and blindsided. You told me you were in love with me, that I was your best friend, that you couldn’t imagine life without me. So, where did it go wrong?” (Pearl)
From these kind of instances the viewer can take away wisdom like, "One may want to consider the repercussions of honesty or the repercussions of not being honest." A totally different but relevant example that could apply to a viewer is a question that most are familiar with, "Do I look fat?" In this case being honest will cause initial harm if one tells them that they are fat. Now, not being honest may sound like the right answer, but if one's partner continues to get fat and at a certain point it is felt that this truth needs to be revealed, they may feel more betrayed in the end.
 |
| Ben Breaking up with JoJo |
"He broke up with her in such a caring and kind way that when it was all done, the only thing the dumped twin could say was, 'Whoever ends up with Ben is a very lucky girl.' How many people say that about the person who just broke up with them?" (Becker)
The Bachelor gives an audience the unique opportunity to see the same person potentially break up with 25 girls throughout the season. From this one can become aware of patterns in the process and the consequences, good or bad, that are linked to those patterns. The thing to do with this information would be to self reflect on one's own patterns and the consequences linked to them. Then it may be decided, through comparison, that Ben Higgins plan of action was better than one from the viewers experience. Thus, this show can be a great learning tool.
Even some scholars are starting to suggest that reality TV can provide deep insight and meaning rather than just the obvious "pleasure, diversion and amusement." For Mina and Krakowiak reality TV can be separated into two categories, "lifestyle transforming" and "competition based." Their hypothesis regarding this categorization is that the former has more value than the latter. Competition based reality TV shows are thought to hold most of their value in the "pleasure, diversion, and amusement." Yet, lifestyle transforming shows are said to produce "strong elevated feelings and moving, thought provoking perceptions". Mina and Krakowiak's most important point is, however, that viewing lifestyle transforming reality TV shows can be "positively associated with altruistic motivations." Interestingly enough, The Bachelor falls into both of these aforementioned categories so viewers can indulge in the pleasure of the competition while having a meaningful appreciation for the "lifestyle transforming" quest for love.ABC's partnership with ESPN to launch the Bachelor Fantasy League reminds us that The Bachelor is a paradigm of competition based reality TV, but the viewer has the power to take much more form it than the mere pleasure of "staged actuality" (Deery). The real emotions, communication, compromise, and love exhibited are surely capable of inspiring altruistic motivation for the conscious and self reflective viewer.
Desantis, Rachel. "Drafting the Bachelor Fantasy League." Entertainment Weekly, 12 Dec. 2016 - 6 Jan. 2017, pp. 26-26. Academic Search Complete, web.b.ebscohost.com.
Tsa-Vogel, Mina, and Maja K. Krakowiak. "Inspirational Reality TV: The Prosocial Effects of Lifestyle Transforming Reality Programs on Elevation and Altruism." Journal of Brodcasting and Electronic Media, vol. 60, no. 4, Dec. 2016, pp. 567-586. Academic Search Complete, 10.1080/08838151.2016.1234474.
Mitarca, Monica. "'There's Five Girls and I Got Only Four Roses to Hand Out.' Reality, Realism, and Scripted TV." Romanian Journal of Journalism and Communication, vol. 11, no. 1, 2016, pp. 19-25. Communication Source, 116513745.
Deery, June. Reality TV. Polity, 2015.
Becker, Stacey. "15 Reasons Why Ben Higgins is the Best Bachelor Ever." Thought Catalog, 21 Feb. 2016, http://thoughtcatalog.com/stacey-becker/2016/02/15-reasons-why-ben-higgins-is-the-best-bachelor-ever/.
Peral, Diana. "17 Quotes That Will Tell You Everything You Need to Know About The Bachelor Finale." People. 15 March 2016, http://people.com/celebrity/the-bachelor-quotes-from-the-season-finale/.
Tsa-Vogel, Mina, and Maja K. Krakowiak. "Inspirational Reality TV: The Prosocial Effects of Lifestyle Transforming Reality Programs on Elevation and Altruism." Journal of Brodcasting and Electronic Media, vol. 60, no. 4, Dec. 2016, pp. 567-586. Academic Search Complete, 10.1080/08838151.2016.1234474.
Mitarca, Monica. "'There's Five Girls and I Got Only Four Roses to Hand Out.' Reality, Realism, and Scripted TV." Romanian Journal of Journalism and Communication, vol. 11, no. 1, 2016, pp. 19-25. Communication Source, 116513745.
Deery, June. Reality TV. Polity, 2015.
Becker, Stacey. "15 Reasons Why Ben Higgins is the Best Bachelor Ever." Thought Catalog, 21 Feb. 2016, http://thoughtcatalog.com/stacey-becker/2016/02/15-reasons-why-ben-higgins-is-the-best-bachelor-ever/.
Peral, Diana. "17 Quotes That Will Tell You Everything You Need to Know About The Bachelor Finale." People. 15 March 2016, http://people.com/celebrity/the-bachelor-quotes-from-the-season-finale/.
No comments:
Post a Comment